By Thoo Bao Ying (49292)
Online dating is “a way of starting a romantic relationship on the Internet, through giving information about yourself or replying to someone else’s information” (Cambridge University Press, 2016). Online dating is a form of computer mediated communication (CMC). Communication online, computer mediated communication (CMC) gives prior understanding among people before face- to face communication takes place.
Online dating is “a way of starting a romantic relationship on the Internet, through giving information about yourself or replying to someone else’s information” (Cambridge University Press, 2016). Online dating is a form of computer mediated communication (CMC). Communication online, computer mediated communication (CMC) gives prior understanding among people before face- to face communication takes place.
This mechanism of communication can be used differently across the online dating landscape (Finkel, Eastwick, Karney, Reis, & Sprecher, 2012). Messaging systems such as email, sending emoji online and live interactions via webcams are a few examples of such communication. Matching facilities will tend to eliminate people who are possible to be a poor relationship partner. Rose (2013) stated that online dating is also a good medium for shy people to know another person. Plus, potential matches are many so that the best selection of mate can be made through online dating.
Different preference of mate can be selected such as non- smoker, non- drinker and same interest in sports. Online dating saves time for people who are so busy that they can socialise and date in the Internet. Safety is one of the great benefits of online dating as users are not risking themselves out of home to a club or bar to meet people (Rose, 2013). If there are people starting harassing online, users can straight away block them and report them to the website without facing a possible danger in real life.
According to Houran (2006), online dating services and relationship services are both under the category of “online matchmaking industry.” Hence, this industry is to provide a comfortable forum for people to meet and get to know each other. Based on Houran (2006), Internet provides the opportunity to foster deep and romantic relationships. Moreover, Internet has different technological equipment in matchmaking which helps to encourage and sustain meaningful communication among online daters (Houran, 2006). According to Finkel et al. (2012), two services those online services provided are mainly accessing and matching. Access is mainly regarding users’ disclosure to and chances to find potential romantic partners which they otherwise would not meet (Nicholson, 2014). Matching is the site’ use of a mathematical algorithm to choose potential partners for users (Finkel et al., 2012).
Based on Boothman (2000), some suggestions need to be considered by dating users in order to work out in online dating. People looking to cheat, poor spelling and negative attitudes are few major offences in online dating. Hodgkin (2015) added that the rejection of potential dates for women is due to incorrect spelling or punctuation rather than boring interests, unreliable profile pictures, confidences or other issues. Some examples of negative attitudes are over expectations towards the online partner that brought him or her pressure and carry forward a bad date experience in the past to present (Denham, 2015). Boothman (2000) also added that honesty plays a very important role in creating profiles because it signifies trust among users. In addition, users need to save themselves from imagination (Boothman, 2000). Once users are confirmed that they liked or interested to their potential partners, they should spend more time to communicate and soon have a date with the partners. This is to ensure further understanding can be developed during face- to- face communication.
In conclusion, there are disadvantages and disadvantages of online dating. The most important thing is that we need to be aware of the effects that brought by Computer-Mediated Communication towards our life.
References
Boothman, N. (2000). How to make someone fall in love with you in
90 minutes or less. New
York, NY: Workman Publishing Company, Inc.
Cambridge University Press.
(2016). Cambridge Dictionary. Date
accessed: 12/9/2016. Retrieved
from http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/online-dating
Denham, E. (2015). How to have the right attitude when online
dating? Date accessed: 20/9/2016. Retrieved
from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elizabeth- denham/how-to-have-the-right-att_b_6736338.html
Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W.,
Karney, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2012). Online dating: A
critical analysis from the perspective of psychological science. Psychological
Science in the Public Interest, 13(1), 3-66.
Hodgkin, E. (2015, October 7). “U
r dumped?” Women say bad spelling and grammar are
the biggest turn off when looking for love online. Mail Online. Date accessed: 28/11/2016.
Retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3262219/Bad-spelling-grammar- biggest-turn-women-using-online-dating-sites.html
Retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3262219/Bad-spelling-grammar- biggest-turn-women-using-online-dating-sites.html
Houran, J. (2006). Guest Editorial: Yes Virginia…there really
is online “dating”. Date
accessed: 18/10/2016. Retrieved
from http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/columns/2006editorials/02- onlinedating.html
Nicholson, J. M. S. W. (2014). Pros and cons of online dating. Date
accessed: 20/10/2016. Retrieved
from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the- attraction-doctor/201404/pros-and-cons-online-dating
Rose, V. (2013). 9 advantages of online dating. Date
accessed: 4/10/2016. Retrieved from
Thank you Esther for sharing the pros and cons of online dating. Here's a fun fact, 71% of online dating users believe in Love at First Sight (Joshua, 2015). This fact can say a lot about the people who go online to find love. Perhaps they are die-hard romantics who wear their hearts on their sleeves, and believe there is one person out there that’s right for them.
ReplyDeleteA big part of online dating is finding someone who will go on dates which are “no strings attached”. But the statistics don’t lie: finding true love is the ultimate goal for most. There is still some romance left in the dating world, even when it’s online.
Thank you for your findings and statistics.As what you have commented, there are still hopes for online dating in the future. This is based on statistics. What is your personal opinion towards that ? Do you think is good or bad ?
DeleteTerima kasih Thoo atas perkongsian yang menarik pada minggu ini. Cinta atas talian sememangnya isu yang sering hangat diperkatakan di seluruh dunia. Terdapat pelbagai kebaikan yang mungkin membawa kepada kebahagiaan, tetapi terdapat juga keburukan yang membawa kepada penyesalan yang tidak sudah.
ReplyDeleteSecara jujurnya saya tidak menyokong cinta atas talian kerana ia mampu memberi risiko yang amat tinggi kepada pasangan, bukan sahaja dalam konteks perasaan, malah dalam konteks peribadi dan niat. Sukar untuk kita menilai orang dengan mudah dan mempercayai mereka 100%. Ini hanyalah pendapat saya, saya akui ramai orang yang menganggap teknik sebegini mampu memberikan kepuasan secara fizikal, mahupun emosi. Ada yang malu, ada yang segan, namun ia semua bergantung kepada diri sendiri. Jika benar ia ikhlas, maka baiklah jadinya, jika buruk niatnya, makan buruklah jadinya.
Jangan marah saya, kerana ini hanya pendapat peribadi. Kita juga sedang mempunyai hubungan CMC, kerana menggunakan komputer untuk berbalas komen, tapi, perasaan sebagai sahabat masih ada dan saya percaya CMC boleh merapatkan hubungan seseorang, seperti saya, awak, dan semua..
Sekian, terima kasih :-)
Thank you for your opinion and your stance towards online dating. Is okay Noraini,I won't angry on you. CMC is indeed has its pros and cons. The best solution is that we know how to utilise the benefits and lessen its disadvantages when using it.
DeleteYeahhhh! Thank you esther.... Together we use CMC in proper way..!!
DeleteDear Esther,
ReplyDeleteCan true love be found online? Thank you for sharing the information about online dating. Undeniable, online dating is getting common in the computer-mediated communication era. In my opinion, I think that online dating is insecure and vulnerable. This is because it is a virtual concept with virtual people, it may makes someone vulnerable to an online dating scam. However, I have friend who found his soul mate from social networks and they have been together for few years already. “Everything has two sides”, same goes to online dating.
Thank you sok fern for your opinion. I agree on your idea that everything has two sides. We need to aware of both of it and be wisely in online dating.
DeleteTerima kasih Esther untuk tajuk artikel yang menarik. Penggunaan CMC ini dalam 'hubungan atas talian' atau 'cinta atas talian' memang berlaku sehingga kini. Kes yang berlaku berkaitan 'cinta atas talian' pada laman sosial FB khususnya ada yang membawa kesan positif. Tetapi pada pandangan saya, ia bukanlah langkah yang wajar. kerana kita hanya mengenai tentang dirinya atas talian sahaja. Kita mudah percaya dan beri harapan kepada rakan atas talian dengan kata-kata yang romantis, menarik perhatian dan mudah menyentuh perasaan si gadis/lelaki tersebut.
ReplyDeleteNamun, ada juga individu yang menggunakan istilah 'hubungan atas talian' ini dengan tujuan mencari rakan yang mempunyai pengetahuan dalam bidang perniagaan, atau mahir dalam setiap bidang bagi tujuan kebaikan bersama. Perlu diambil perhatian juga, "online dating' ini bagi individu yang sedang mencari pasangan, atau merancang untuk mencari pasangan hidup atau sama waktu dengannya. Ada yang bersifat suka-suka sahaja dan tidak terlalu serius.Kesan inilah yang banyak mendatangkan kesan buruk dalam masyarakat. Kes sosial remaja sekolah, rumah tangga porak poranda kerana sikap curang di antara pasangan tersebut dan situasi yang kita boleh kaitkan pada masa kini.
Gunakan langkah bijak dalam istilah atau cara yang betul. "its about your life"
Hi Ruzimah. Thank you for your reply. Indeed online dating can bring lots of social problems. It is best if we have proper ways to handle it and reduce such problems so that online dating can be more effective.
DeleteHi Esther. Cinta atas talian merupakan perkara biasa pada masa ini. Bukan hanya kerana kecanggihan dan kepelbagaian teknologi dan medium untuk berkomunikasi tetapi turut dipengaruhi oleh keinginan untuk berkenalan di atas talian. Oleh sebab itu, cinta atas talian merupakan satu fenomena yang sukar dikawal dan semakin menjadi-jadi. Bagi saya cinta atas talian ada baik dan buruknya terutama bagi remaja yang baru mengenal dunia. Oleh itu, pada pandangan saya cinta atas talian ini terjadi kerana tidak mahu ketinggalan mengikuti trend. Namun saya tidak menafikan bahawa cinta yang mengikut trend ini ada yang berjaya membina mahligai cinta. Akhir kata semuanya terpulang kepada individu itu sendiri.
ReplyDeleteTrue. I agree with you. Let us wish those who are using it the best of luck!!!
DeleteHi Esther, interesting topic to debate on. I personally have met friends who found their other half through online dating and also those who did not succeed. I really think that it is quite similar to face to face relationship (the risk of success and failure are 50 : 50 ) It may/ may not work out.
ReplyDeleteThis is because you cannot date forever online. You have to meet up in real person. But then I guess the idea of chatting with a person that you don't know can be mysterious for some people. It really depends. Well, you never know where your destiny will lead you to. =)
Ya, I agree with you Joyce. I think it is very depends on the willingness of the individuals and see who are willing to invest in it. Let us wish then all the best in finding their true love.
DeleteThank you for your sharing Esther. For me online dating is really hard to be justified whether it is appropriate or not. Apparently, the development of online dating apps has been more and more interesting and advance but it also reflected a delicate process in between human relationship. Since when we went through “blind date” generation to “freedom to chose date” and now here we are in a very effective yet complicated way to date a potential partner. I think we are really passive to accept this dating culture but we still have own decision, pro and cons concern to take. To conclude it, I will suggest “have fun but don’t hurt yourself”!
ReplyDelete"Have fun and don't hurt yourself". It is so true. Hope those who are using it are more cautious and at the same time able to find their love ones.
DeleteHi, Esther. Thank you for your sharing.
ReplyDeleteI feel that this is no wrong for people to find true love. As God want human to have a match and partner in their life. Online dating is another way for people to find true love. I cannot claim that online dating is definitely bad thing because it can be a effective way for people today. It is same as when people have a relationship in real world, they can be hurted. The process is almost the same, just the forms are different. In my opinion, I prefer the traditional way to find the partner. >< Wish you all can have a true love~
Hi Jessie. I agree that everyone has their rights in choosing the medium that they like to search for their true love. I wish you too can find your true love.
Delete