By Joycelyn Ong (47120)
Try logging out from your social networking sites now. I can guarantee 90% of you won’t even bother to do so. Why ? It has become part of our lives and for some, Mariah Carey’s “Without You” seemed perfect to describe the agony of saying goodbye to social media sites.
“ Can’t live…. when living
is without you à Facebook,
Instagram, Twitter…
Given that the amount we spent on social media sites, it is supposed to really make us happy, right? If not, why would we willingly spend most of our time doing the same thing everyday? I believe it is always fair to present both sides of social media sites. Since the emergence of social media sites, many studies have been conducted on the users of social media sites. Scholars, psychologists, academicians are particularly interested in the state of wellbeing of the users. Do we feel happy when we go on these websites? Or does it make us feel terrible, miserable, jealous, and wanna sing Bad Day from Daniel Powter? Well, studies showed that you can feel both depending on your choices and level of purpose.
Marotta (2016) revealed a study from study author, Robert Kraud, stating that intimate, in depth conversation with people you truly care of on Facebook can actually make you happier. This is supported by another article by Saqib Shah (2016), it is explained that a personalized comment, message from someone close to us can actually make a difference in our online experience. This is because we get the impression that the person actually cares for us by taking time to respond and give us encouragement. This is so true, at least for me. I do not really care about most of Facebook friends, but a few close friends. If my best friend commented on something really personal regarding myself (provided it is positive hahaha), it will really make me day. If a not so close friend commented or messaged, my response would be like, “Thank you, have a nice day.” Yeah, pretty emotionless because we are not THAT close.
But at the same time, being on social media sites can make us unhappy. This perspective is driven by the notion that we are in a competition of “who is having a better life?” The results? It drives us to have the “fear of missing out”. Why is everyone always going somewhere? Is she going for holiday gain? Okay, my cousin’s cousin is getting engaged? Oh my primary school classmate is having a baby, great !? Right. So much information to digest at the same time, and when we are not careful, we allow a few photos on social media to actually form our overall impression of other’s lives. We think that we are always going nowhere.
Furthermore, Marotta (2016) also found that individuals who have a high level of sense of purpose do not rely on the amount of likes to feel good about themselves. This means to say, if the amount of likes of your selfie photos actually make you feel depressed or super happy, it means that deep down your emotions are being dictated by virtual feedback.
I came across a very interesting article on The Guardian about youths who quitted social media sites and their thoughts on it.
Here
are some of their reflections and food for our thoughts too.
“My life has changed for the better since deleting social media. I now enjoy catching up with my friends, and when they tell me new plans my response isn’t just, “Yeah, I saw on Facebook.” It makes you realise who your real friends are and how social media takes the joy out of sharing news with people. I also feel less anxious and less of a failure.”
“Posting on social media is quite frustrating because it feels like everyone isconforming to the norms, and you have to post photos of yourself (every placeyou visit, etc). Some people merely “like” your pictures so you return the favour –it’s childish. I don’t need to prove anything to people or show people I’m doing well. This has made me a much happier person.”
“Leaving Facebook was one of the best decisions I’ve made thisyear. Aside from the increased productivity that comes from not having it, I enjoyactually talking to people face to face, and not seeing what someone I met once,years ago, had for breakfast.”
I don’t know
about you, but the last one really hit me. I have only met you once and I
actually need to see what you had for breakfast. Only makes sense in social
media sites.
To sum up this discussion, I would like to end with a short paragraph by The Star Online (2016, p. 1)
"The “strategy” is simple. Online connections or communications
should be with people we care about and who can be genuinely supportive in
times of need. This is opposed to accepting all “friend” requests or being
connected with everyone we know, whose activities or thinking can trigger our
depression. Our own cyber activities, meanwhile should be geared toward
enriching our knowledge or exposing ourselves to humour and other feel-good
factors."
Don’t worry and be happy while you are using social media sites. The choice is in your hand.
References
Marotta, R. (2016, October 6). Social Media Use Can Improve Well-Being. The Pharmacy Times. Retrieved from http://www.pharmacytimes.com/careers-news/social-media-use-can-improve-well-being
Marsh, S.(2016, September 21). Does quitting social
media make you happier? Yes,say young people doing it. The Guardian. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/media/2016/sep/21/does-quitting-social-media-make-you-happier-yes-say-young-people-doing-it
Saqib Shah (2016). Having a bad day? New study says Facebook can
cheer you up. Retrieved from
http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2016/09/09/having-bad-day-new-study-says-facebook-can-cheer-up.html
The Star Online. (2016, July
21). Can social media make you happy? Retrieved from http://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2016/07/24/can-social-media-make-you-happy-being-with-the-right-people-online-is-easier-said-than-done-but-its/
Thanks Joyce. Social media do become a necessities for some people. For instance me as a student I needed Whatsapp to connect with my friends for assignment discussion or other course related task. It's really difficult for me to log out even just for one day. Is like following trending news. I won't feel comfortable not knowing any latest update or sudden changes.
ReplyDelete#anxiety
Haha Patrick, I assure you that you are not alone. It is like without social media, we pretty much do not exist in real life. One way of tracing a person's whereabout is to actually track a person's online presence.
DeleteIt is sometimes frustrating that we cannot do without social media sites at times. Everyone is expected to be there, to always bombard information and so much more.
It is true that sometimes we may lose out what is trend online if we do not log into those websites regularly. For me, I still prefer the traditional way of getting my information through conversations and newspapers though I do read online news.
This is because sometimes the facts can be exaggerated on the Internet at times. It is best to seek clarification from the original source. =)
"Saya boleh mati jika tiada kamu, media sosial!"
ReplyDeleteTidak! Saya tak akan mati walau tiada media sosial. Hal ini demikian kerana, media sosial hanyalah penyeri kepada kehidupan saya, yang mampu membuatkan saya tersenyum, membuatkan saya ketawa, khasnya apabila berkomunikasi dengan rakan-rakan yang dikasihi semua. Saya tidak mengharap 100% kepada media sosial semata-mata, jika tidak mendaftar internet bulanan bulanan pun saya tidak kisah, kerana bagi saya jimat haruslah dipraktikkan. Boleh bersosial menggunakan media, tetapi kawal dari segi penggunaan ayat, bahasa dan masa.
Tidak semua orang boleh memberi kerjasama dengan media sosial, kerana ada kala, manusia juga menjadi sensitif apabila kita mendedahkan sesuatu di laman sosial. Untuk mengelakkan perasaan iri hati, cemburu, masalah dengki dan sebagainya, seeloknya kita mengawal kaedah pengurusan penggunaan media sosial.
"Jangan biarkan media sosial mengawal kita, tetapi kawal lah ia agar kehidupan kamu akan menjadi lebih bahagia, selamat dan bermakna". (NORAINI, 2017)
Haha, thank you Aini for your response. Personally I think you use social media to the maximum among us (whether it is for formal/ informal business), and I am excited to read your feedback.
DeleteIt is true that sometimes social media has become our open diary. We think it is for us, but when some of the public reads it and get offended, it backfires to us. In a way, it is not as private as we think, or as real as we think.
Maybe sometimes we just want to see whether people are paying attention to us by positing some "emo" statuses or some photos with "emo" captions lol. To me, now Facebook is too public to me. It doesn't help when my mum is my friend on Facebook haha. I must really think twice before posting anything.
Hahahahaa, tahu tak apa... Same here :p
DeleteTerima kasih Joyce untuk artikel yang menarik "Don't worry, be happy". Saya sangat bersetuju dengan pandangan anda yang memang bertepatan dengan situasi setiap pelajar atau sesiapa sahaja yang mengalaminya. Jika sesetengah individu mengatakan bahawa, 'saya tak semangat tanpa media sosial'ini atau 'dunia saya memang media sosial'...ada juga individu berkata 'awak ni memang tidak bersosial ke? atau 'sedihnya tengok kehidupan awak ni sangat membosankan' tak aktif dalam media sosial lah!....Lihat dari perspektif anda sebagai seorang yang bijak dan mempunyai matlamat. saya bersetuju juga dengan pandangan dari Patrick. kita gunakan media sosial seperti aplikasi Whatsapp untuk keperluan sahaja. Jika kita banyak menghabiskan masa dengan melayari media sosial seperti Facebook, tertangguh masa, kerja anda semakin banyak yang tidak dapat diselesaikan pada masa yang ditetapkan.
ReplyDeleteRingkasnya, saya dapat simpulkan bahawa anda perlu bijak untuk bezakan antara keperluan dan keseronokan. Untuk menilai tahap kebahagiaan atau kegembiraan anda, lihatlah bagaimana diri anda bijak mengurus kehidupan anda sama ada dalam media sosial dan juga fokus pada tugas anda sebagai pelajar, pekerja atau sebagainya. Anda bergaul secara positif, anda dapat respon positif. Fokus pada matlamat dan sibukkan diri anda dengan dunia ilmiah untuk jadi seseorang yang berkualiti, cemerlang dan berpengetahuan. Sekian.Terima Kasih.
Hi Ruzimah, thank you for you response. I agree with you that we should not let social media control our lives but we should be in control, be it the purpose of consumption or the duration that we spent on it.
DeleteIn fact, going on social media sites can really a big waste of time if you log in without any main purpose. If you really need to kill time, going on Facebook/ Twitter/ Instagram can enable you to do so.
But there is so much to life than just social media. Though it helps us to communicate better with people that are far away, there are far more important things to explore in real life.
Dear Joyce,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your sharing. I have the same experiences with Patrick. I will feel anxious and uncomfortable if I have to stop using social media. It plays a significant role in my life and I found that I cannot live without social media. For instance, I have discuss assignment with my group members with using social media, communicate with my family through Facebook, and interact with friends via Twitter. However, I felt surprised on the youth’s reflection about quitting from social media sites. I ponder that maybe I should try to cut out from using social media in the future? To encourage more positive energy and spend more time to live in my real life. :)
Hi Sok Fern, thank you for your honest response. I had the same revelation when I read about the youth's response too. It must been hard in the beginning but they are now reaping the rewards without being "controlled" by social media.
DeleteI would love to do that one day though that one day seems so far away haha. It is like my whole daily activities really depend on it and that is really scary.
I hope to be a moderate user of social media sites, and a happy one too =)
Hi Joyce. You're right. We seem to like can not live in a world without social media. Haha. As you said, we shall control ourselves while enjoying the services which offers by the sites. :)
DeleteThanks Joyce. I would definitely love to log out for just even 24 hours from internet! Personally, I like to use internet only to read books which I cannot buy or afford to buy. Compare to others, I feel very uncomfortable even anxiety when my phone rings every single time. I want my peace!! Besides, I like face to face connection much more than using device. Yet, the jobs, assignments and tons of unsolved problems need me. I can’t just escape it and that would be my fault of irresponsibility. Recently, a statement which point out people rather be a keyboard hero than real life citizen. It is much more save when we hide behind a screen to judge, speak, and comment. Real life? No, we are unconfident, weak, and for God sake don’t know why. I really suggest log out and do something. Maybe a campaign haha~
ReplyDeleteSocial media is very useful for people to connect each other without the limitation of place and time. We are also able to share about our feeling by social media. People can know more about us and understand our status. People also upload the pictures to keep it as the memory. However, we need to remember to be a rational user. Everything we want to share need to consider the other's feelings. For me, social media is the tool to maintain the relationship but not to create a new relationship. This is my perception about social media.
ReplyDeleteThank you joyce for your sharing. Internet is definitely important for me for different reasons. I think in my opinion, I use What apps for chatting and for discussion in group assignments. Besides, I use Facebook for leisure and sharing such as my lifestyle and also my feelings. I also use Google for searching official information required by academics and also searching for my personal information. I think although social media has its disadvantages, however, I do think social media provides variety of needs to us. So we would not worry when we are lacking of anything as it provides a guidance for us.
ReplyDeleteHi joyce. Internet sangat penting kepada saya kerana saya seperti sudah terbiasa menggunakannya untuk menghubungi keluarga dan rakan-rakan di Whatsapp dan melayari media sosial untuk mengetahui maklumat terkini dan juga sebagai tempat saya mengisi masa lapang. Jadi bagi saya media sosial sangat berguna dan penting kepada saya.
ReplyDelete